A Social Commentary

Despite the fact I was born in the North, I’ve spent a great deal of time down south, specifically North & South Carolina. As I got to know the people there I was struck by a very interesting observation.

If you ask the average Northerner what their thoughts are about the South, your typical answer will be along the lines of, “I don’t know. I think some of it has more hills. Isn’t most all of it farmland?” The general consensus is the South is just “more spread out.”

If you ask the average Southerner what their thoughts are about the North . . . you’d better sit down and get comfy, and it’s probably best not to let them know you’re from the North. First of all, you’re going to hear that Northeners drive too fast. In fact, they do everything to quickly. You’ll probably be told that you (Northerners) are ruder than your southern counterparts. While the South, on the other hand, is extremely friendly. During the conversation they may actually even use the word “Yankee.” Next, you’ll be interested to know . . . . And at this point they may eventually trail into some extended dialogue on the Civil War.

Now, please, if you’re from the South you may say “I’d never do that!” Wonderful! I’m simply relating my experiences from 8 years of intimate contact with the South, while trying not to be over-stereotypical. And believe it or not, I’m coming to a very poignant point.

The Civil War is over. No one alive today was involved with the Civil War. Slavery no longer exists in America. The North is not in some kind of competition with the South. And this may sound heretical, but the equal-rights movement has been fought . . . and won. There are very few people alive today who even existed when it happened.

So why can’t people let it go?

I believe that the racism that exists today, the bigotry, the intolerance for superficial differences, all stem from an inability to move on. The good fight was fought. The blood was shed, and now we live in a country where the vast majority of people don’t care what color your skin is or where you were born or what your sex is.  Yet interestingly enough bigotry still exists. So where does it come from?

The majority of bigotry and hatred in America today stems the people who were, at one point, the object of hatred. I’ll use racism as an example. I don’t know a single white person who hates a black person. I don’t even know any white people who look down on black people because of their skin color. Of course that doesn’t mean white-racists don’t exist. It simply means I don’t know any. But I do know many black people who hate white people, or who dislike them because they’re white.

Interestingly enough, much of their hatred isn’t born from actual offenses received against themselves, but perceived offenses other people suffered. These “perceived offenses” most often start with an event that happened so long ago there’s no one left who was there to see it. The “bussing” for example. Yes, at that time most white people treated black people poorly, but not any more. So, after dwelling on the initial perceived offense, people start to interpret others actions in the light of the ancient perception. “That person was rude to me, they’re probably racist.” They assume they know the motivation of other people. I don’t know about you, but my mind reading skills left me the day I realized I wasn’t God.

In the end, many people like what I’ve described actually become the racist. Sure, they may have been discriminated against, and probably disliked, and definitely treated poorly by one person or another . . . but most times those things didn’t happen because of their skin color. It may have happened because the other person had a bad day or because the offendee was being a jerk (God forbid). But by assuming every time I’m treated poorly it’s due to my skin, I begin to hate the people who hate me.

Unfortunately, in the world we live in, there are more black people who hate white people than the other way around. The black community has black schools, radio stations, magazines, months, t.v. shows, clubs, etc. If a white person ever showed that kind of discrimination it would be labeled a hate crime and they’d be crucified by the Reverend.

My point is simple. If you hate someone because of what they’re ancestors did to you . . . you’re wrong. If you dislike someone because you think you know why they’re unkind to you . . . you’re wrong. And that goes for people with the same ethnicity. If you’re a Latino and another Latino is cruel to you, and you assume you know the reason . . . you’re wrong. If you have gone so far that you actually hate/dislike/can’t abide/or disassociate yourself from an ethnic group, a geographical location, or social standing . . . you are dead wrong.

Hatred and bigotry will never die as long as people can’t move on. Let go of the past injustices. Let go of the ancient feuds. And for goodness sake, let go of your own bigotry. Think of it this way . . . the world won’t change it you don’t. Why should men stop hating women if women won’t stop hating men? You do your part, and even if the rest of the world won’t change, at least you can die knowing you were the better person.

If everyone just did what was right the Mason/Dixon would disappear, everyone would become color blind, and sex would be something people do, not something they are.