Okay. So this has nothing to do with my blog, but I’ve got to say it. DON’T GO TRICK-OR-TREATING IF YOU’RE NOT GOING TO DRESS UP!!!!!!!
It’s bad enough most of the kids are bundled up in so many layers that you can’t tell if he’s a mummy who likes to ski or an Eskimo vampire, but don’t defame the holiday by shaving the essentials!
My inspiration for this rant came while I was out driving (looking for the ritzy side of town and Mr. Moneybags). I saw a gaggle of teeny-boppers on cell phones who apparently thought they’re too cool for costumes but not for free candy. If they came to my door I wouldn’t give them a freaking M&M! Well actually, if they came to my door I wouldn’t be there; I’d be trying to find some random kid I could take trick-or-treating so I could convince Mr. Moneybags I wasn’t a over-age freak who had no right to be begging a candy bar.
At least I had a costume.
Anyway, I wanted to roll down my window and give them a good drive-by-harangue but I realized it wouldn’t communicate. First of all, who listens to the ravings of a 27 year old in a ninja costume? Second of all, I realized at the last moment how horrifyingly like my dad I would sound. I kept the window closed and glowered in the moment.
I finally found a rich gated community, but the gates were gated. Well, I was dressed like a ninja wasn’t I? Twenty minutes, and a tear in my costume later, I was over the fence and trying to mingle with the rich kids who were trick-or-treating in their own community. And then I saw them . . . a whole slew of little kids not wearing costumes! No cheap, mommy-made hand-me-downs, no expensive Spiderman costumes (with real web-slinging action), nothing. I couldn’t hold it any longer.
I guess the cops understood my reasoning cause they drove me out of the community and let me go just outside the gates. In retrospect I guess the whole thing was a tad unnecessary. If a bunch of stupid kids want to ruin the holiday I love so much (and consequently, can’t let go of), let em! It wouldn’t be the first time. Look what they did to Valentines Day! No one in first grade loves anybody . . . how dare they use the sacred “L” word.
In the end it was I who lost out. I’m sure my sermonette fell of deaf ears (no one takes a 27 year old in a ninja costume seriously) and I didn’t get that king size Snickers Mr. Moneybags was handing out. But I’ll sleep well tonight nonetheless . . . cause this Ninja can climb a mean fence.
November 5, 2007 at 11:25 pm
Hahahaha.
Love it.
November 6, 2007 at 2:02 pm
You’re too kind.
November 6, 2007 at 5:41 pm
Just callin’ it like it is. =)
January 5, 2008 at 11:59 pm
Haha, I love the mental image of you ninjastyle. And in my particular neighbourhood, the REASON these kids get away with it is:
Refuse them candy, and prepare to hear the miniature screams of innocent eggs being hurled against your upstairs windows.
One day, I hope they create an ‘egg-bouncer’ forcefield, that neatly rebounds the incoming mass back downwards along its prior route. Splat.